I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
