dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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