thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
