I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just cropdusted the office
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
