You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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