hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
