you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
