you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
