i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
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That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
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I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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