$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
