don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
