dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
only if we run a train.
done.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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