11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.