you suck at this game today
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????