So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
