my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
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