it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
