Jerry, you need to find god
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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