I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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