Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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