so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize