I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
