I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
