he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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