I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
