oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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