I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
