just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
