dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
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i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
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My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He shit in the fireplace