i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?