Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
