I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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