He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
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I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize