I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
