I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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