just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
