i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
