physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
