Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
