no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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