dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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