So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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