My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
