Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize