Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
