Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize