I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i've created a new STD.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
