Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
