I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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