i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
