the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
