peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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