I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
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The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
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Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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