hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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