There was a lot of him and a little penis
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
