My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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