I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Is her dick bigger than yours?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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