You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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