He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Pants are for mortals
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
