the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
