So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
