so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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