It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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